Computer Tech Woes

Well, my future as a computer technician seems headed in the same direction as my efforts to grow zucchini. It was not difficult to find troublesome viruses on the old computers in the church’s computer training center. Making educated guesses, I found two viruses on my own before even starting anti-virus software. So after downloading from the internet a couple free virus removal tools, I looked forward to getting all the viruses off the machines.

It all started out so well on Day One. Proceeding on two machines at the same time, the antivirus software almost instantly announced it had found viruses. But after that things started downhill. The virus removal tools worked at a snail’s pace. After a full day of labor, one machine was not yet half scanned. The other virus removal program running on the second computer didn’t even tell me how much longer I’d have to wait. In fact, I wasn’t even sure it was still working. I suppose it all had something to do with the fact the minimum requirements for the virus removal programs were at least 192 MB, 512 MB recommended, and I had only 64 MB to work with.

Day Two started out as slowly as Day One ended. Neither removal program had finished its work the day before. When I started them again on Day Two, would they begin again from scratch? Or would they pick up from where they had left off at the end of Day One? Oh, I was so happy to see them pick up where they had stopped the day before. Both of them. So I watched as the programs proceeded, every bit as slow as before, to complete their scans. Every once in a while I needed to answer a question posed in a dialogue box. But, like all Windows-inspired dialogue boxes I have ever encountered, they give no intelligible clues as to what will happen if you say “yes” or “no.” Like always, I guessed. Eventually, both computers finished the scans and came to a point where reboot was required to complete the virus removal. My how that sounded encouraging as Day Two came to a close.

On Day Three I on the two computers and watched them reboot. For hours I watched. All day I watched. On one of the machines, nothing happened all day. The other machine gave me an error message – something about certain operating system files being missing or corrupted. Neither machine rebooted. At the end of Day 3 I went home, very discouraged, to think about what to do.

Disaster is the word for Day Four, as well as Days Five, Six …. Focusing on the one machine with missing or corrupted OS files, I decided to try to reinstall the XP operating system from an old disk lying in a desk drawer. What did I have to lose, after all? It was clear the computer wasn’t going to run the way it was. So I naively started the reinstallation. I could give you all the details, but you would only laugh. At me. For being so foolish. After a couple days of effort, I finally got the installation to the stage of asking me for the Microsoft security key. Groan! Such a thing, which clearly once existed, is nowhere to be found now. I should have known. I should have known how this could all come to a halt for the absence of 25 precious digits and letters. Less than an alphabet’s worth.

So today neither of the computers I “fixed” is now working. The poor woman in charge of the computer center was so happy at first that I was helping with the computers. But now, she looks so confused. Understandably, she is reluctant to let me touch any of the other computers. She was so trusting.

But I have a plan. I have my friends looking for donations of old Microsoft operating systems. Maybe XP, or maybe even better, 98 SE. Complete with those 25 digit security keys, for sure. If they can mail a couple copies to me, I’ll get those computers running eventually. I have 5 more months to get it done. That will be enough, won’t it?

Now, if I just had a plan to replace the Microsoft Word and Excel programs that were on those old machines.